What Is Going On With You, Ladies?

As we are, hopefully, nearing the end of lockdown #3 (or who knows how many, I lost count), I feel the need to address a phenomenon that is a byproduct of these unprecedented times* and which evoked the above cry in me.

*UT for short

Counting from 23rd, March, 2020, today is the 326th day of UT. Almost a year since we are restricted in our lives, our movement, our social life and spare time activities.Almost a year since we could invite guests , hug family members, party with friends. Almost a year since we could go to the theatre or the movies, splash in the pool or travel to see the world.

Much have been limited in our lives but negativity. It’s mentally dragging.

Photo by Alex Green on Pexels.com

 

I listened to so many co-workers, friends, received so many messages on facebook that were full of negativity and complaints. People didn’t only nag about real problems, they started to notice nuisances and grew them into big issues.

Because the “kid doesn’t understand the math exercise and my partner keept explaining for him for an hour and he still doesn’t understand and now he is crying”  – Your kid didn’t understand it in the past either but it was the teacher who had to explain it all over again.
Because “my daughter has a birthday coming up and we can’t go out to a restaurant to invite her friends at a party” – There are so many children who can never invite friends because their parents simply can’t afford it.
Because “it’s so rainy and I don’t like walking in this muddy weather”  – You live in Scotland…Really? 

And so on and so forth.

There is, however, a more alarming notion I noticed.

Facebook is full of posts by women that convey the message that you’re only good enough if you give 100% every day, if you are fully and nicely dressed and your hair and make-up are topnotch. A friend of mine shared a fb-memory about how she had been embarrassed because she had reached such a low point in her life when she let herself be seen in a jogger outside her house! Sharing this post she also noted how shocking the extent of this new “low” was that she now allows herself to exist in. hashtag comfyclothes, hashtag covidhairdontcare.

 

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com 

 

Girls, I’m asking you…Do you really need to feel embarrassed by wearing joggings when you are at home all day, no dresscode, no place to go, no one to meet? Why don’t you enjoy those hashtagcomfyclothes instead?
Do you really not care about your covidhair that haven’t been touched by a hairdresser for ages if you take the time to post about it on social media to potentially hundreds of people? Has it occured to you that you claim to be worthy only if you’re pretty and you also imply everyone is worthless whose hair has not been cut and/or dyed in the past year? 

Thanks but no, thanks. I still love myself in leggings and a tee and I still appreciate my personality with my growing-greying hair. (And you should, too. Because you are worthy.)

Here comes the question though, if you feel this is so low, why don’t you aim higher? Most probably because you also know deep down that there are periods in life when appearance doesn’t matter so much. When it’s not ordinary days but UT on the plate and looking good is not a priority.

Sure, I know why you feel this way. Because you are longing for those nice-hair days, when it was enough to put on a pretty dress and a light make-up to feel confident. If difficulties wiped the smile off your face, you could look into the mirror and immediately felt being able to tackle anything after you re-applied your lipstick. You were on top of everything. Again.

Alas, these are not those days. But please, please remember:

Photo by Mikhail Nilov on Pexels.com

 

You can still smile without make-up. 

You can send an enouraging nod with unkept hair.

You can be there for someone who needs you even in joggings.

These are what these times are asking for. Love, patience and acceptance towards yourself and others. Because you are enough.

You Can Do It! How to Be Successful After Losing Your Job?

Whether it’s the first time or the second, third, etc. losing your job is never easy.

Whether you were on probation period or worked for the company for years, it’s a blow in your gut.

Whether you liked the job or not, you feel it’s unfair and you didn’t deserve it.

The news is always shocking and in most cases it’s a surprise. You didn’t expect it. Or you may have expected it but didn’t think it will be you. (Let me tell you, no one ever thinks it will be them. Ever.)

Because why you?! Continue reading “You Can Do It! How to Be Successful After Losing Your Job?”

📩 mini-motivational monday #1

I’ve recently read a few thoughts about plans vs. mission in the current situation.

The post talked about how so many now feel there is no sense in planning in these unprecedented times (hello covid!) because everything is so uncertain and subject to change in the last minute.
However, the author pointed out that having a mission/vision is something that can keep us on track even in uncertainty. It is possible to take even small steps daily that brings us closer to our vision, steps that are aligned with our mission. Your plans may change, you may discard some of them and overwrite others but they will still be calibrated by your vision.

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

What is your mission? Do you do anything regularly to make your vision real?

Ready Or Not, Here I Come!

Early 2020 I started to be pro-active in an area of my life where I had always been passive and, as a result, unsuccessful. I couldn’t have done it, had it not be for the therapy I was undergoing due to my depression, which took a turn for the worse and made my life miserable.  Thanks to the rather intense therapy, clouds have been lifted and I felt it was time to deal with my (non-existent) love life.

I spent time and money to learn, to face old habits, recognise unhealthy patterns and the process opened up new dimensions that I could have never imagined!

photo by author

I realised that even though I’ve always had goals set, I lived without intention, proper boundaries and went with the flow in so many areas in my life. Somehow it didn’t occur to me that I am the curator of my own life, entirely,  and I have the last word when it comes to what I let enter into my head/home/heart.

Despite how deliberate I was in certain aspects, I wasn’t thorough regarding my whole life. I had no overall vision. I had yearly goals in certain areas, I had general wishes in others and there were proper black holes I didn’t even notice.

Armoured with this newly gained knowledge, I feel confident that whatever life throws at me in the next years, I will be able get through and even have fun in the meantime!

Here’s to a new life which is simple, slow(er)-paced and where I am behind the wheel! As I say, ‘if you don’t like where it’s going, get off the path’.

If you feel it’s time for leaving your old ways and try something new, come along!